Road Runner Doesn't Speak

Last night at about sundown, I was out for a walk in my neighborhood when I came upon a coyote meandering up the street. As coyotes often are, he seemed confused deciding between obstacles to avoid, the dogs at his heels or the human in his path.

Cel phone to my ear, I'm sure I represented everything that is wrong with what used to be his mountainous world: the encroachment of civilization on his ancestral home, technology emitting frequencies that disrupt his acute senses, and a creature walking on two legs, to boot. In fact, the only good thing about my presence there, was that I was better than the alternative bearing down behind him.

The dogs and their barking subsided, their owner no doubt avoiding the frackas, and faced with the decision of walking the other way or investigating me, Wiley crept toward me as if wearing house slippers. And then something interesting happened...we started talking. You might think I began to yip and howl. I have my id moments, I'll admit, but this was not one of them. This was not spoken communication, though... it transcended that. This wild creature, probably scared out of it's mind only a few moments before, stopped witin five fet of me and just looked, not threateningly, but curiously, and left all the rest (his worries, his fears, that damned roadrunner and those crazy Acme inventions) behind. And so did I. We stood there for a couple of minutes, not moving, though not tense, either...just a comfortable mutual admiration society of man and beast.

Neighbors in the adjacent house had noticed the coyote as he walked up the street, although the closer he came to me, the more they seemed to stir frenetically behind the safety of glass and wood. During the time Wiley and I stared each other down, their tension seemed to build as if they were saying, "I can't believe what I am seeing! oh my God!"...People tend to overreact, though. Visitors to New York's Central Park take pictures of squirrels as if they were mountain lions. I'm sure coyotes in L.A. are just as exotic and mysterious. We stayed there for a long time. I think we were both truly happy in that moment. Finally, I began to move to my left and the dog moved to his and we did a kind of mirrored dance until we both decided to break and go our separate ways.

The people in the window wildly gestured as if I had done something wrong in allowing the coyote to pass into the driveway and woods behind me. Was I supposed to guard the property in case they had children, I thought? I didn't sign that agreement. I figured that must not have been their issue, then.

One of the women behind the window came to another open window and said something about thinking I was going to be attacked. I said the Coyote and I were simply checking each other out and then realized that the woman was Allison Janney, the actress. For a moment I thought, "who do we know in common? I should make reference to our mutual friends."...but I still had a phone to my ear and I was walking away backwards because I didn't want to acknowledge her celebrity status. Besides, her friends were all chiming in with remarks like, "oh, no! the dingo ate my Neighbor!", so I simply said goodnight and walked off into the evening.

So that's it, only in Hollywood do you run into a wild dog and a celebrity on the same street. In my case, I found it best to treat them both in exactly the same manner...with mutual respect, admiration, and silence.